Girl's Night Out

COUNTDOWN 16 DAYS

Tonight I went out to dinner with my friend Laura and then my friend Jeanne joined us and we saw the Sex in the City movie.

After being a fan of the tv show for years and owning the whole series set on DVD, I was excited to see the four women on the big screen. The tv shows always left me with a feeling of hope about relationships and friendships.

Interestingly, I found the movie to be quite the opposite. I actually found it a bit depressing.

For those who haven't seen it yet, I won't give any details away, but the tv show portrayed a woman's love life in her thirties as being a fun whirlwind of dating, relationships, endless cosmopolitans and expensive shoes. While everything didn't always work out for the characters, it was for the best and there was always more fun around the corner in the form of a new romance, a new opportunity or a swanky fashion show.

In contrast, the women in the movie have moved into their forties where it's apparently uncool to have fun dating and it's time to accept lives that include lots of commitment, a huge helping of forgiving, a dose of sticking with what you have, and a lot less sex. I mean, A LOT less sex.

As someone in her mid-to-late thirties, this protrayal doesn't make 40 sound at all appealing.

I'm not saying I want to run around dating forever. In fact, I would like to get married again, maybe have children and "settle down."

But, if I subscribe to the view in the movie "settling down" seems to mean "settling" period.
-- Settling for a life that involves a lot of compromise and not a lot of sex.
-- Settling for a mediocre relationship because you're too old to go date new people or it's easier to go back to the ones you know.
-- Settling for spending holidays with friends because spending them alone after being with someone is too depressing.
-- Settling for eating junk food in place of intimacy.

None of these options are appeaing to me.

To be fair, the movie definitely celebrates the strength and importance of friendships between women. However, that piece doesn't make up for it not doing justice to those between men and women.

I believe the dynamic energy present in love relationships in ones thirties can convey over into ones forties and hopefully fifties and sixties also.

Am I being too idealistic?